4am

 In the middle of the night,

Normally around 4am,

When I can't sleep,

I write. 

I try and get my thoughts out of my head,

Try to stop the mental fans from whirring,

Try to stop the never ending loops.

Its never 'good',

Its never witty, clear, or clever,

No punctuation, poor grammar, bad spelling. 

I write a lot at 4am

To try and stop the cogs turning

So fast that they skip each other,

And nothing makes any sense.

I try to get the thoughts out,

Release the pressure,

Of an over stimulated brain.

Apparently, its cortisol 

That wakes me up at 4am,

I don't wang to know the cause.

I just want it to stop. 

kht. 4am, some morning, summer 2023

Things I Learned from my Grandmother, vol. 2.

Among many other things, from Betty I learned that

Routine is vital, it's good for you to know what's next.

The life of every living thing is connected through the seasons, and,

Soaking the oats for tomorrow's porridge must be done before bed.

Routine is vital, it's good for you to know what's next,

Pancakes shouldn't have a line in them when broken,

Soaking the oats for tomorrow's porridge must be done before bed, and,

Record keeping is essential, notes should be made.

Pancakes shouldn't have a line in them when broken,

Biscuit tins, jam jars and envelopes will always come in handy.

Record keeping is essential, notes should be made, and,

The world turns on everyday acts of love.

Biscuit tins, jam jars and envelopes will always come on handy.

Among many other things, from Betty I learned that

The world turns on everyday acts of love, and,

The life of every living thing is connected through the seasons.

kht November 2022

Betty. 18.02.1928-16.11.2022

Eye Contact

I hate looking people in the eye.

Because then they look back at me.

It's one social rule I'll happily defy.

I hate looking people in the eye.

it's not a simple why

But, it puts me on edge, not knowing what others see,

I hate looking people in the eye.

Because then they look back at me.

kht autumn 2023

You

 You are blue,

Deep blue, sky blue, 

The blue that shines, peeking through in opal. 

You are blue,

Baby blue, midnight sky blue,

The blue that hides, deep in the sea almost darkness.

You are blue,

Cerulean blue, navy blue,

The blue that dances, flirting around turquoise. 

I can read your blue, 

And when I think of you the first thing I see I in my minds blue eyes,

Are yours. 

kht 2023

Dealers Hand

We can't control the cards we are delt,

It's not having a winning hand, 

It's having someone to hold your hand. 

kht summer 2023

Perfect, nearly

 All of the things I wished for came true,

The dream became reality, clearly.

And it's picture perfect, nearly.

There's the house, the dog, the job, the you.

The car, the garden, the vegetables you grew.

One wee thing is out of place, plainly,

There's no me in this picture. 

All the stars I wished on, all the dandelions I blew,

Wasted, prayers made, pointlessly.

Choices made along the way, wrongly.

It's not right, squint, askew,

There's no me in this picture.

kht summer 2023

Lewis Capaldi

 I'm worried about

Lewis Capaldi.

Or am I worried for 

Lewis Capaldi. 

Or, selfishly, am I worried because of

Lewis Capaldi. 

KHT July 2023