Crown of Sonnets

Sonnet 0 of 15

I walk down the steps, into the garden

Surrounded by roses, climbing so high,

sunlight falling in rays, like a curtain

not a cloud to be seen across the sky

I breathe in, and count every step taken

breathe in for eight, hold for eight and release

repeat. at the bottom of the steps awaken

as the calm, brightening waves of light cease

I know this is a dream, a dream I made

to soothe a troubled mind, too full of worry

it's worked it's self from my waking, frayed

brain to my sleeping one, lines become blurry. 

when anxiety follows from night to day

gardens of roses can't keep it away

Sonnet 1 of 15

I walk down the steps, into the garden
this is not a pleasure, food is needed
winter forces the cold earth to harden
spring gave kind, warm days, seeds were soon planted 

entrusted to the soil, the sun, the rain
they rose to the challenge, soon life sprouted
summer sun burned, with unrelenting pain
but ripened the produce, fattened the fruit

the elements loss becomes precious gain.
autumn, we gathered, soil we substitute
for darkness, packed away in salt or brine
and pray nature lets her order permute. 

some folks grow flowers, for food they'll scrape by.
Surrounded by roses, climbing so high,

Sonnet 2 of 15

Surrounded by roses, climbing so high,
atop the world, his ultimate target
a crow, a dove, peaceful, happily fly
he climbs on and on, no walls, no carpet

he is done with his ties, safely flying
his movement is free, not bound to a circuit
without looking down, he feels them crying
saying goodbye, though it wasn't his time

never did he think he'd feel freed dying
All he knows is that onwards he must climb,
approaching the top - he must now be close
hearing now a gentle sound, a chime

darkness, pain and fear fade, hope is certain
sunlight falling in rays, like a curtain

Sonnet 3 of 15

sunlight falling in rays, like a curtain
it won't last, it never does, darkness comes
lightening strikes and thunder often drums
living as we do, life is uncertain 

each day we live, apparently a gift
we fight on in the shells of out past lives
we don't stray to far, like bees from their hives
everything changed our cultures adrift

so when change finally comes alarms ring
the cloud clearance, the rain stops, blue skies shine through
and the world looks bright, fresh, starting anew
reminding us here, we control nothing

rumours spread. quickly, all demanding why
not a cloud to be seen across the sky

Sonnet 4 of 15

not a cloud to be seen across the sky
a summer's day, beautiful to behold
the sun rises, I see the day unfold
gently, carefree, without a sound, I fly

I am winged, feathered, wildly free
my life has no schedule, there is no rush
this is the existence of the song thrush
I sing, then hand the day to men I see

a beautiful sound greets my ears, he thinks
as he dons his boots, ready for the walk
there is no need for company or talk
I have the birds and the day, sunlight blinks

as thrush and man see the workd awaken
I breathe in, and count every step taken

Sonnet 5 of 15

I breathe in, and count every step taken
I approach you, with my father beside
I doubted I would ever be a bride
I am calm here, confident, unshaken

You look back at me, and I am drawn in
As our dear family and friends watch on
there is no one in the room, they're all gone,
it's just you and I,here, now, we begin

this new phase in life, in love, together
this decision was easy, i am sure
vows bind us together, love will endure
we promise, better or worse, forever

a new, calm feeling,certainty and peace
breathe in for eight, hold for eight and release

Sonnet 6 of 15

breathe in for eight, hold for eight and release
and I fall, I can't stand any longer
what can I do that will make me stronger
right now, nothing, search out my golden fleece

or silver bullet, just one solution
so that evey day is not a fight
every day doesn't take all my might
i am absorbed in each convolution

meditation, mindfulness, and self care
this war in my own brain will not desist
but, I do learn how to better exist
daily steps make me become more aware

I still fight daily, don't be mistaken
repeat. at the bottom of the steps awaken

Sonnet 7 of 15

repeat. at the bottom of the steps awaken
or not. it is darkest before the dawn
there, the mental battle lines are redrawn
repeat. and face a new day, preshaken

repeat. try to find the motivation
the will, the drive to brake this dark habit
this oppressive shell I still inhabit
repeat. in a jail of my creation

repeat. there must, must be a better way
but right now, in darkness, it escapes me
when the drum in my head won't let me be
repeat, another night, then a new day

the blue of the sky folds and starts to crease
as the calm, brightening waves of light cease

Sonnet 8 of 15

as the calm, brightening waves of light cease
I am wide awake, and I am alive
the night is over, the sun brings new drive
I made it through, life is a fresh caprise

this new person, emerges ready to shine
no longer haunted by that big black dog
no longer surrounded in thick grey fog
in the end, maybe all it took was time

when my eyes open for real, worry floods back
I am not free of anxiety, yet,
it's still a constant companion, a threat
in these brightening hours, my world stays black

as the darkness of night begins to fade
I know this is a dream, a dream I made

Sonnet 9 of 15

I know this is a dream, a dream I made
somehow, through all this, you stay by my side
sure this isn't what you planned from your bride
it isn't always perfect, but love stayed

I fell for you fast, in six weeks I knew
seven short months later we bought our house
in just under two years, you were my spouce
I knew I found my one, my lover, you

we have both had our moments, our troubles
we've each had bad times, in body and mind
we survived lockdown together, be kind,
don't settle for butterflies, or bubbles

Search out deep love, it can't fade in a flurry
to soothe a troubled mind, too full of worry

Sonnet 10 of 15

to soothe a troubled mind, too full of worry
take one good book, one hot coffee, breathe deep
get plenty of good rest, nothing beats sleep
take your time, think it over, there's no hurry

cook good food, get your five portions a day
eight glasses of water, vitamins too
protein, fats and carbs, choose what best suits you
move, stretch, your body, excercise your way

spend time outdoors, maybe grow something new
create things with your brain and hands, knit, sew,
journal, write, try something new every day
swim in the ocean, walk in morning dew

this is the plan I've written, drawn, handmade
it's worked it's self from my waking, frayed

Sonnet 11 of 15

it's worked it's self from my waking, frayed
being, making me doubt I'm good enough
to stand in front of blank slates, still cut rough
giving them knowledge to move up a grade

move up a grade in existence not just
at school, but in life, become better folk
not using insults and making a joke
building respect, resilience and real trust

evolving as people, showing real growth
it's a big question, but does it matter
are compliments real or just to flatter?
am I Karen, or Mrs Todd, or both?

whoever I am, no time to worry,
brain to my sleeping one, lines become blurry.

Sonnet 12 of 15

brain to my sleeping one, lines become blurry.
I could sit and watch you all night, all day
you dart, float, rest, go up, go down, you play
there is no rush in your wet world, no hurry 

you show your bellies when it's time for food
you follow your nature, make eggs or spawn
friends come and go, no fuss when they are gone
there is no worry in your world, just good.

you are my escape when things get too much
I admire your skill at calming me down
I loose myself in your world, there I drown
I can't pet or stroke you, rare is your touch

all folk are different, we each have our way
when anxiety follows from night to day

Sonnet 13 of 15

when anxiety follows from night to day
the fight can be draining, never ending
some dark thoughts are like tungsten, unbending
I wish I knew someone heard if I pray 

before, I had faith in Him up above
He would have healed me, not let me suffer
now I believe in me, not another
I choose my destiny, my source of love

so it comes down to me, I am my fate
so I put faith in myself, I am god
I am my destiny, I'm not a fraud
persist, even though the end goal is great

face anxiety, fight, with no delay
gardens of roses can't keep it away

Sonnet 14 of 15

gardens of roses can't keep it away
the end comes to us all, in our own time
one day I know I will have to face mine
but not yet. despite the darkness, I'll stay

the secret isn't anything special
it's just to find the will to keep living
find something good to keep your soul going
bodies, in the end, are just a vessel

physical bodies are not who we are
we are our memories, our joy, our love
the here and now, not some secret above
our reasons are right here, not kept afar

one day, I'll find something new, untill then,
I walk down the steps, into the garden

Sonnet 15 of 15

I walk down the steps, into the garden
Surrounded by roses, climbing so high,
sunlight falling in rays, like a curtain
not a cloud to be seen across the sky

I breathe in, and count every step taken
breathe in for eight, hold for eight and release
repeat. at the bottom of the steps awaken
as the calm, brightening waves of light cease

I know this is a dream, a dream I made
to soothe a troubled mind, too full of worry
it's worked it's self from my waking, frayed
brain to my sleeping one, lines become blurry. 

when anxiety follows from night to day
gardens of roses can't keep it away

[End]

Chocolate - Triolet

I unbox you, gently,

A gift from a sweetheart.

Placing you on my tongue, sweetly.

I unbox you, gently. 

You melt, and are gone too quickly. 

Like you and I, no longer apart.

I unbox you, gently,

A gift from a sweetheart. 

Chocolate -Triolet

Elated - Rondeau

When the nurse sat on my hospital bed,

And firmly, but gently said,

I've brought you some things you might like to look at,

And passed me some leaflets, and sat.

It took a minute to get into my head,

I didn't know what information I was being fed,

Did I have a diagnosis? No one had said.

All at once I felt elated, not flat,

When the nurse sat on my hospital bed.

What was wrong had a name, it wasn't in my head,

I had imagined panic, worry, dread,

Others might have cried, no doubt about that,

I had a enemy to fight, to engage in combat.

I felt happy, years of questions finally bound by medical thread,

When the nurse sat on my hospital bed"

Performance Review

Resilient

Takes the strain, and spreads it across both shoulders when needed. 

Prepared. 

Can step up, and do what is needed to keep the world spinning. 

Creative. 

Can share ideas, think on the spot, and make magic happen. 

Supportive. 

Can listen, solve problems, and makes sacrifices for the benefit of the team. 

Professional. 

Can take feedback on board, and reflect on practice and adapt. 

I can be silent, overwhemed and helpless. 

I can be vulnerable, pushed over the edge by the simplest things. 

I can be overstimulated, untill the only option is sleep under a hundred blankets. 

I can be angry, frustrated by injustice and scared to speak out. 

I can be frustrated, with thoughts and feelings the have nowhere to go. 

I can be all of these things. 

I am all of these things. 

I can be. 

I am.

Blank

My favourite books are empty ones,

Waiting to be filled with ideas.

Lined. Dotted. Grid. Blank. 

They all have a purpose,

Destiny to be fulfilled. 

My favourite books are ones unwritten,

Pages waiting for inspiration,

Leather. Linen. Hard backed. Paper.

The binding doesn't matter,

It's the intention that counts. 

My favourite books are ones waiting,

For muses, for inspiration to strike.

Large. Small. Foolscrap. Pocket. 

Each had its place,

For desks or back pockets, out in the world. 

My favourite books are 

blank

Done - Cinquain

 Yesterday 

Prolonged, strong

Harrowing, enduring, listing

Hard work for all

Done.

An Attempt at a Sonnet

I walk down the steps, into the garden,
Surrounded by roses, climbing so high,
Sunlight falling in rays, like a curtain,
Not a cloud to be seen across the sky.

I breathe in, and count every step taken,
Breath in for eight, hold for eight and release,
Repeat. At the bottom of the steps, awaken,
As the calm, brightening waves of light cease.

I know this is a dream. A dream I made,
To soothe a troubled mind, too full of worry,
It's worked it's self from my waking, frayed
Brain, to my sleeping one, lines become blurry.

When anxiety follows from night into day,
Gardens of roses can't keep it away.

Emulsion and Gloss (Haiku)

Paint. Stretch. Up. Up. Up. 

These walls never felt so high. 

Paint up, don't give up.

You

You. (Free verse)

You are blue,
Deep blue, sky blue,
The blue that shines, peeking through in opal.

You are blue,
Baby blue, midnight sky blue,
The blue that hides, deep in the sea almost darkness.

You are blue,
Cerulean blue, navy blue,
The blue that dances, flirting around turquoise.

I can read your blue,
And when I think of you the first thing I see I in my minds blue eyes,
Are yours.

I have learned recently

 Of all the things I have learned recently,

This is the one that has impacted me most,
And I need to think about it some more.
There have been other vital things I've learned along the way,
I think.
I might have forgotten them along the way, because,

I have learned recently,
That not everyone has a constant stream of throughts,
Pushing and surging for control in their mind.

I have learned recently,
That other people really can switch off,
Not just turn down the volume of their own internal calamity.

I have learned recently,
That having to write down everything in order to function,
Is not what most people have to do.

I have learned recently,
That some people can focus on one task at a time,
From the planning, to execution, to evaluating without becoming,
Forever distracted by life.

Protected

 

When I was a child my father protected me.
On a ferry, crossing to Ireland in bad weather,
He held me tight against a railing as we travelled over the dramatic sea.

He taught me how to drive a tractor, sat on his knee,
He taught me how to wire a plug, together.
When I was a child my father protected me.

I was encouraged to explore, safely free.
I always knew I could call for help, forever.
He held me tight against a railing as we travelled over the dramatic sea.

He'd be there when I woke at 4am, with a hot cup of tea,
He always walked on the outside of the pavement, me? Never.
When I was a child my father protected me.

I never doubted, he would always be there for me,
And I never will. Ever.
He held me tight against a railing as we travelled over the dramatic sea.

I might be grown now, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
You'll always be my precious, trusted elder.
When I was a child my father protected me.
He held me tight against a railing as we traveled over the dramatic sea.

Seasons

 Warm socks, lambs, Easter, snow, April showers,

Lighter mornings, longer days, warm sunshine,
Birthdays a plenty, cake, food, fizzy wine,
Dafodills, tulips, snowdrops, iris, flowers.

Wedding anniversary, holiday,
Cool sea air, birds building nests, nature wakes,
Grass grows, weeds too, real smiles replace the fakes,
Winters past, days of darkness gone away.

Spring is here, hope returns to us on earth,
Welcome, old friend, we missed your friendly face,
Winter will return, but now, it's your pace
The season of new starts, light and rebirth.

Spring gives us all new hope and fresh, bright starts,
So we will hold you close, warm in our hearts.

Just

 Just listen.

Sit back, take a deep breath and
Let go.

Just be peaceful.
Take it all in, absorb every note and
Focus in.

Just feel it.
Feel the shapes it makes you want to make,
Move freely.

Just imagine.
Imagine where this would go next,
Keep humming.

Just listen.
And let the music do what it does best.
Be healed.

Tired

Exhaustion hits,

It's not my fault I get tired

All of a sudden. Without warning

I just can't fight sleep,

My eyes close, and my brain turns off.

All of a sudden. Without warning

Exhaustion hits,
My eyes close, and my brain turns off.

It's not tiredness, it's something more.
Exhaustion hits,

Unpredictable, unavoidable,

It's not tiredness, it's something more.
But it only happens when I'm safe.
Unpredictable, unavoidable,

And not always at the right moment,
But it only happens when I'm safe.
Theres a strange compliment in that.

And not always at the right moment,

I don't even recognise it's happening.
Theres a strange compliment in that,
That I know it must be hard to see.
I don't even recognise it's happening.
It's not my fault I get tired,

That I know it must be hard to see.
I just can't fight sleep,

Sodalite - Pantoum

 Sodalite

The stone for words with clear intention.
The poet's stone,
Thoughtful words, and powerful speech.

The stone for words with clear intention.
For communication and confidence.
Thoughtful words, and powerful speech,

The confidence to make your voice heard.
For communication and confidence,
Sodalite.

The confidence to make your voice heard.
The poet's stone.

KHT (Feb 2022)

(Made using Jacob Jans Generater)

Boolean

Boolean

Boolean logic has always appealed to me.
Something is with true OR false,

There is NOT an option for any other result.

Strict conditions AND set rules can be reassuring,
There is no either OR, it's yes OR no.
But hard to establish, you're like me.

I couldn't make the rules,
That would mean making decisions,
AND that is NOT a skill of mine.

Yet, set them for me,
AND I'll walk your narrow pathway,
Through your Boolean gates,
NOT paying heed to any interruptions,
OR getting confused along the way,
AND then I might, maybe, be able to make a decision.

Stability - Sonnet

Stability

It used to be, I relied on me for
Stability. My emotions were mine
And I could manage them myself, just fine.
Things change, now sometimes I need something more.

Sometimes, now I need a hand, physically,
On a shoulder, or hand, a bit pressure,
Or guided to a change of scene, fresher,
dependable, unequivocally.

Never asking exchange for anything,
Never expecting payments in kind,
Take me as I am, whatever you find,
Into the safety found under your wing.

You stay by my side, reassuringly
Constant. When uncertain, stability.

KHT (Feb 2022)